My Experience In Being A “Crunchy” Mom

We all want the best for our kids. We go above and beyond without even realizing it. When I had my first son, I went a little extreme in following a “natural, crunchy moms” group that I am apart of on Facebook. It was extreme. Anti Vaxx, baby wearing, co sleeping, homegrown and organic food, natural baby care products, positive parenting. All things the perfect crunchy mom could imagine.

My Experience In Being A “Crunchy” Mom

Part of my mental illness is being over analytical. I research EVERYTHING. With Ezra being my first child, I was over thinking everything and seeing all these articles on the horrors of modern day parenting made me feel like I had to reinvent myself as a mom.

“The number one ingredient in most formulas is corn syrup”

“Babies are receiving toxins and overloaded with vaccines”

“Crying it out is cruel and causes trauma to a child that’s young”

“Do you really know what’s in the bath care products you’re using”

So many things. I will say that I agree with a lot of stuff I read and a lot of the opinions in this group that I am apart of, but I was overwhelming myself. I am grateful for this phase because it has shaped a lot of who I am as a mother, but I was letting myself feel pressured to be the “perfect” natural mom. I had to find organic formula for Ezra, I had to make his baby food, I had to scan all the products I thought about buying to put on his skin, I shouldn’t use Tylenol or medication before trying natural things, I had to research everything and anything I was going to do for my child. It was becoming overbearing.

What Broke Me

Some things work for your child, and some don’t. The first time I started realizing I need to make my own calls instead of posting in a Facebook group was when my son went through a month of having a double ear infection, had an upper respiratory infection, and was teething super bad. I had to avoid Tylenol at all costs. My son would NOT sleep. He was in so much pain. He wanted to sleep so bad but couldn’t because the pain was keeping him awake. I remember going to my closest natural medicine store to buy chamomile, natural ear drops, essential oils. I let him chew on ice cold rags, rocked him for hours, baths. I spent SO much money (being a natural mom is NOT cheap when you’re child is sick and you’re new to the whole thing and don’t know what to buy. You want to try everything). I went through a week of taking advice after advice and nothing was working. I was getting no sleep. I just wanted my baby to feel better. After 8 days of torture for both of us, I gave him Tylenol. And he went to sleep in less than an hour. He slept the whole night. He was a different baby. I let him finish out his antibiotics after getting advice not to. And in less than two weeks, he was completely better and I had my happy baby back, with his first tooth!

Realizations

That experience made me realize I need to sloooooow down. Being a crunchy mom is great. But there needs to be a balance. One size does not fit all. Sure, I will try natural methods and avoid medications if I have to. In the end though, I need to do what’s right for my family. If I’m judged, so be it. We’re all judged no matter what we do as parents anyways. Sadly.

Again, I am not bashing the “crunchy” mamas. They are amazing. To those that it comes effortless to, I applaud you. But I will no longer run a marathon trying to keep up with them. I want to enjoy my baby, and be in the moment with him, instead of him playing and me being on the couch researching everything under the sun.

Being A “Crunchy” Mom Did Change Me

There are many things I agree with (that will be in future posts). I co sleep with Ezra. A lot of that is me being a full time working mom though and that is when we bond. Sure, he may not want to sleep in his crib ever, but I’m okay with that. I believe in gentle products for him, but if Johnson and Johnson is having a sale and I’m tight on money until that Friday, you best believe I’m going to buy it. I’ve been making healthy meals for Ezra, but some days the day was long and I’m so tired, so I give him non organic peanut butter toast with some bananas and call it a day.

As first time moms, we often look to everyone else for guidance, especially with all these mom groups. But the best thing I’ve learned is to trust yourself as a mother. God gave you this gift and opportunity to be a mother and learn who you are as a parent through EXPERIENCE, not a group on Facebook. Of course, we need guidance sometimes, we need support, but don’t feel obligated to take the most common advice. Weight the pros and cons, take everything with a grain of salt, and make your OWN choice. Trust yourself as a mother, and know that when you see your smiling, clothed, fed baby that you are doing a wonderful job and don’t need to think so much.

This is journey. We can’t be perfect parents. We won’t have perfect days. We will have perfect moments. Where time stops and you feel that warm love in your heart for your babies. Cherish those. Don’t waste the time we have.

I still consider myself a “semi crunchy mom”. If that’s even allowed. I still research. But I don’t let it get in the way of time with my son. I see both sides of issues and make a choice based on my own opinion. I am grateful for my natural parenting phase, but I am happy I’ve let it go.

Xoxo


26 Comments

  1. Brenna @crunchymountainlife

    July 4, 2017 at 11:15 am

    So true. I’m not full on “crunch” and there is definitely a balance. What works for one does not work for all. I’m glad you found your balance! Keep going and rocking it!

  2. Josselyn Radillo

    July 4, 2017 at 1:17 pm

    I’m not a mother but I do know that mother only want the best of the best for us!! And so good to hear you found your balance

  3. evdayam

    July 4, 2017 at 1:51 pm

    I’m glad you realized to just do you. Good job mama. Do what’s best for you and yours. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Stephanie Lane

    July 4, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    Your doing a great job and it’s so awesome that you realize that it’s ok not to be perfect…

  5. April@LoveOurRealLife

    July 4, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    As a mom of a 10 and 12 year old, I think we need to just be best mom we can be. Make the best choices you can make for your kiddos and forget the rest. Thanks for sharing!

  6. Corinne & Kirsty 🌸 (@corinnekirsty)

    July 4, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    I didn’t even know the term crunchy mum. I am not a mum yet but I am sure this will be really helpful when I become one! xx corinne

  7. Jhilmil

    July 4, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    love the way you’ve expressed it all.. Indeed you are doing a great motherhood job despite being a full time working mommy!

  8. deehivedelights

    July 4, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    lol, love the pics. Good to hear you got a handle on the mommy thing. I have yet to get there but I cant imagine.lol

  9. Rachel Ritlop

    July 4, 2017 at 11:34 pm

    I’m not a mom yet, but I can only imagine how hard it is to time manage for sure!

  10. Muna Kenny

    July 5, 2017 at 12:04 am

    We (moms) can only try our best to be good parents, we are not perfect but there is always a room for improvement. You have found your balance and soon you’ll learn and add more to your knowledge and experience. Best of luck!

  11. Sheena Tatum

    July 5, 2017 at 1:01 am

    It’s always best to follow your gut. It’s ok to do the best for our child but you’re right, not everything is the same with each child. They’re all different and we need to be open to learning with each one.

  12. JD Obedoza

    July 5, 2017 at 2:25 am

    We only want what’s best for our kids. And it’s up to every parent how to raise their own.

  13. Ana De-Jesus

    July 5, 2017 at 6:45 am

    At the end of the day you have to go with what is best for you. Like you said there is not a one size fits all approach and that is ok, different children have different needs x

  14. Nazrin

    July 5, 2017 at 6:51 am

    There isnt an instuction manual for parents to show you how its done right and which way to do things. It doesn’t exist becuase it will never work! You do things the way it works for you and your children and that what makes you the most amazing mom!

    http://www.nmdiaries.com

  15. Yonca

    July 5, 2017 at 10:02 am

    Learning forever! I try to keep myself open- minded as a mom and a good friend.

  16. Kanani B.

    July 5, 2017 at 11:01 am

    Trusting myself as a mother was one of the greatest gift I could have given myself and my kids!

  17. Anosa Malanga VA

    July 5, 2017 at 11:14 am

    I am glad you were able to realize what needs to be change. Indeed, there should always have a balance in everything. Cheers to a supermom like you!

  18. Sarah Bailey

    July 5, 2017 at 11:25 am

    Hands up I’ve never heard the term crunchy mum before, I thought it was going to be about the cereal! It sounds like you have come to work out what works best for you and your little one.

  19. Happily Ever After Etc.

    July 5, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    I completely agree with you, It’s wonderful to be a crunchy mom but at the end of the day fed, happy and healthy is best. If somethings not working then sometimes you need a little Tylenol. Poor baby must have been so tired! You did the right thing for your baby, you’re a good mama.

  20. Blair Villanueva

    July 5, 2017 at 11:54 pm

    Am not yet a mom, but I have a strong feeling that I might be an uptight Mom. And in that case, I wont concede. Being a Mom means you have to be tough for the family, its for the better.

  21. lex

    July 6, 2017 at 7:11 am

    mums are wonderful and deserve a whole lot of praise and yes this is a big one from me here to you over there. its hard and not easy going through and being a good and strong mum. bravo.

  22. Nadine Cathleen

    July 6, 2017 at 8:07 am

    I probably will be obsessed with all this as well but I also believe that we should trust ourselves when we become mothers. It’s nature and we will have the mother instinct to do things the right way 🙂

  23. Denice Joyce Diaz-Faeldonia

    July 7, 2017 at 4:36 am

    Just trust your mom instincts. 🙂 It is the best built in tool that we have to guide us in making decisions.

  24. Elizabeth O

    July 7, 2017 at 9:25 am

    We all want what is best for our children and how we go about it is up to us. There is no one right way. Do what works for you and your child.

  25. Shell

    July 16, 2017 at 5:12 pm

    As moms we all just want what’s best for our children… you’re doing a fantastic job!! Thanks so much for sharing with us!!

  26. Lana

    July 17, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    I do not consider myself a crunchy mom but, I do my best to feed my baby only with organic food. Marie is almost two and never got sick
    http://www.marieavenue.com.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: