My Period Made Me A Horrible Mom

Hey mamas!

I wanted to make a short post about some realizations I have had over small things in life that many of you can relate to. Last week was all about me just not feeling like a great mom. Which is a lot of the time. The judgment between other moms (and people in general) is bad enough, however as my dad says, “We are own worst critics”. Boy, if that isn’t true.

 

What Happened?

So last month, I had a LEEP procedure. Last week, I believe on Tuesday, I started my first period since I had the surgery done and it was HORRIBLE. I normally have bad periods anyways (bad cramping and pain), for the first couple of days. I usually use Thermacare Menstrual 8hr Size 3ct or just extra strength Tylenol or Midol and NOTHING was helping. It was UNBEARABLE! I got through work, but by the time I got home and Bubble’s dad went to work, I was in severe pain. I was lying in bed with Bubble, trying to get him down for a nap and couldn’t move. At one point, I realized he had a poopy diaper and it took me 10 minutes to convince myself to push through and get up to change him. We wobbled to the living room; so I could put him in his walker with some cheerios; and then I could sit on the couch and sob.

I felt like an awful mom. I’m usually a tough cookie when it comes to being sick and being in pain. I found out later I had a stomach virus on top of the bad period pains. Bubble looked so bored, and kept looking at me longingly to play while I was sobbing, and that made me feel so much worse. Thankfully, Bubble’s dad came home from work so I could rest, and took care of him the whole next day as well. To single moms who have no choice but to keep going, I COMMEND YOU! You are STRONG ass women. Technically I am a single mom, because I’m not married and did some of it alone and all, but I am so blessed that I had a man come forward to be there for us and help us.

The Universe Told Me To SLOW DOWN

I feel like this was sort of a sign for me to slow down. My days are ALL about Bubble. I wake up at 6 AM to get ready for work, and he usually gets up with me, so I feed him breakfast and get him dressed. Then I’m off to work. After that, I come home while his dad goes to work and watch him until bedtime. A lot of nights I fall asleep waiting for him to do the same. When Bubble is awake, I feel like I have to entertain him at all times and have him constantly engaged. There’s not a lot of me time in there.

The past couple of months, without me realizing, I think I was getting more depressed and anxious than I already am on a daily basis. I was becoming more anti-social and irritable. I would get into arguments with people I care about, and KNOW I was wrong, but keep going anyways. I guess it was the only way for me to blow off steam.

Sign up for Cozi!
 

Baby Steps To Self-Care

I mean, I just wrote a post about how moms need to be selfish and schedule time for themselves; but we all know we always make it all about the kids. I mean, their happiness is what we live for. It’s something I know won’t happen overnight and I’m taking baby steps towards self-care. I’m trying to have at least a half an hour to myself in the morning. I play and engage with him after work, but let him be independent with his play too. Right now (at almost ten months), it’s rough because he is super dependent and going through separation anxiety; so that will get better soon. But unless he’s in a walker or highchair right now, I can’t do dishes or cook without him crawling to my ankles trying to stand up.

I’ve been trying to stay up later to get some reading time in, or take a bath, or just something to unwind, rather than going to bed every night stressed over Bubble not falling asleep on a schedule.

We Just Want Success

If you haven’t caught on yet, I try to do way too many things at once, and over think almost everything in my life. I have a full time job, try to get Ezra out to see family on the weekends, keep up on this blog, want to start an etsy shop, and all the mom regular stuff (grocery shopping, keeping fresh produce for Bubble, laundry, cleaning, dinner, and keeping baby alive hahaha).

Recently I realized I need to stop being so impatient and not try to do everything at once. I can’t. I want the perfect life for my kid, and want to be successful so I can give him everything, but it will happen how it’s supposed to, and there’s no rush to get everything I want in life done in a week. I put so much pressure on myself.

It’s just so hard for me to pick ONE project at a time when I want to do it all. I’m SO focused on this blog and side ventures because I want to be a stay at home mom. I hate the whole work 9-5 thing to work for someone else’s dream. I want MY own business, to set MY own pace, and choose when I can be there as a mom. I know a stay at home mom with her own business and side quests still works full time, but it’s a different kind of motivation when you’re in it for YOUR dream. I guess that’s why I’m so caught up in EVERYTHING because I am impulsive over change right now.

Thanks for reading my vent. Slow down mamas. You are wonder woman of course, but take one thing at a time. We know you can do it all, but you don’t need to.

Enjoy the day’s moments. Don’t entertain the kids, interact with them. Watch their facial expressions as they play and figure stuff out. Listen to their laugh. Really talk to them. Love them, and feel the love they have for you. You are all great mothers, and are enough.

Xoxo

21 Comments

  1. Milton Goh

    March 18, 2017 at 9:04 pm

    Bubble is adorable! My wife and I have been full time parents to our 1 year old daughter since she was born. We’re enjoying every moment with her. I pray that you attain your dream of becoming a stay at home mum with an income that doesn’t come from the 9 to 5 grind. God bless you with happiness, endurance, patience and the ability to let go and let God 🙂

  2. TOP ON MY LIST

    March 18, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    Oh , I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. On the other hand, I really admired your being focus on what you want to do. Just press on and never give up. I guess all of us are experiencing some challenges in various forms 🙂

  3. Lisa

    March 19, 2017 at 12:01 am

    Take care of yourself! Being a mum is the hardest thing in the world but the most rewarding. It’s ok to not have it all together all the time. We’re all just doing our best and that is enough xx

  4. Gracie

    March 19, 2017 at 12:29 am

    Bubble is so cute! I’m sorry to hear you suffer from pain during your period. I also have conditions like that and it kept me from socializing with people because I feel irritated all the time. But I am also glad you still make it through and do your best to make the best for Bubble. Cheers!

  5. Angel

    March 19, 2017 at 2:03 am

    Being a new mom is challenging and we are always questioning our actions and decisions as parents. Take care of yourself 🙂

  6. Agentszerozerosetter

    March 19, 2017 at 5:08 am

    You sure are a wonderful mum, this post share so much love… Best wishes on realizing your dream!

  7. Sandra Crespo

    March 19, 2017 at 6:56 am

    Bubble is such a cutie! I love this so much because sometimes us moms have such a hard time slowing down we think we need to do everything! Ty for the reminder ❤

  8. Gina

    March 19, 2017 at 7:42 am

    My hats off to parents. I am sure that it must be an amazing and rewarding experience. I just don’t know how you do it sometimes. I work full time with a crazy schedule, blog, and am starting my own business. There are time when I struggle to give my dogs as much attention as I would like.

  9. Yonca

    March 19, 2017 at 8:04 am

    Bubble is adorable! Can’t agree more about running your own business instead working for some else’s dream. Especially if you have kid/kids. Good luck!

  10. Author Brandi Kennedy

    March 19, 2017 at 11:14 am

    I love this post – It’s so me, too. I tend to push too far, and then when I’m so worn down I can’t push anymore, I lay down and kick myself for everything I’m not up doing. I loved that you said, “You CAN do everything, but you don’t NEED to.” Such a fitting reminder.

  11. Jessi Joachim

    March 19, 2017 at 7:48 pm

    I am like you, and always try to do to much at once. I know with my daughter, I was out driving and lifting things WAY before I was supposed to when she was born. I had a C-section with her, but do not remember being told not to lift or drive….With my son I tried to power though but having a baby and toddler was so much that it wore me out and I had to give in on doing EVERYTHING.l

  12. David Elliott

    March 19, 2017 at 10:27 pm

    I think we all want to be successful and have everything happen all at once. I think a thing my friend told me, that parent reveals all of your greatest strengths, but also all of your greatest weaknesses, has stuck with me. All we can do is take each day as it comes and do our best. And as you said in your other post, we need to take time out for ourselves from time to time.

  13. Elizabeth Brico

    March 19, 2017 at 11:46 pm

    It’s going to be okay mama. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been there too. Especially the snapping and going on even when I know I’m wrong. You know this, but to hear it from someone else: it will get better! And your baby is adorable!

  14. Elizabeth O.

    March 20, 2017 at 12:27 am

    I think at one point, when you become a mom we all go through a phase like this and that’s something that we have to be aware of, it means we need to take it slow and take time to take care of ourselves. We often forget about our well being and we don’t take notice until it’s too late.

  15. Wanderlust Vegans

    March 20, 2017 at 6:44 pm

    Sometimes you just need a me day. I wouldn’t say it was making you a bad mother though. Periods suck and really suck the life out of you. You need to take care of yourself before you will be equip to take care of your son.

  16. Everyday Joey

    March 20, 2017 at 10:20 pm

    I could never be a single mom either. I have been living apart from Husband while he finishes up school while Little is 1month-4months old. It has been impossible. If I wasn’t living near my mother and sisters, I don’t think we would be doing too well. Thank you for the reminder to pay attention to the little moments and relax a little 🙂

  17. Ruth I.

    March 21, 2017 at 6:42 am

    I’m still single and no child yet but I take care of my niece. I can relate on some of this because I work from home and spend my 9hours with her. I know how frustrating it may feel. But don’t forget that you are amazing and you are doing just well. Smile 🙂

  18. Angela Milnes

    March 21, 2017 at 8:20 am

    Your baby is so damn cute! So adorable. Anyway, Every month like clockwork, for two to seven days, women experience periods as part of a natural discourse of the female body. Despite the discomfort and, at times, severe pain associated with menstruation, women carry on with their daily functions and duties.

  19. Shaheen Khan

    March 21, 2017 at 1:01 pm

    I can completely relate to your post. A lot of times I keep wondering whether I am being a good mom. I either worry about giving too much attention to them or fret over how little me time I get. It’s a roller coaster ride being a mom and I do go through real bad PMS, makes me feel lousy too.

  20. kristen m

    March 21, 2017 at 1:51 pm

    Sometimes our bodies definitely let us know it’s time to take a break! It’s probably a good thing even though it sucks!

  21. Peachy @ The Peach Kitchen

    March 24, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    Bubble is so cute! I think you should really take time to have your “ME” time once in a while and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. It’s one of the ways we, women, recharge so we could continue taking care of our loved ones.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: